Yay, I made it through another workday! Once again I came home super-tired after my half-day of work and napped all afternoon, though. I can still feel the fatigue from the chemo, even if the side effects from the Taxotere were more bearable than the ones I experienced while on Taxol. I did receive a round of chemo less than a week ago, after all...
Luckily, my neuropathy also seems to be improving. I still have considerable numbness and tingling in my feet and hands, but unless this is just wishful thinking, I think each day it gets a tiny bit better. I still have a far way to go, but at least I can see improvements. Getting better feels good, particularly when combined with the knowledge that there is no next round of chemo about to hit me.
Once those side effects are gone, I think my main challenge will be not to focus too much on the various aches and pains, while remaining sensitive to real changes in my body that might indicate a return of the cancer. I've been experiencing some strange pains in my reconstructed foob, but I'm wondering whether that is just my overactive mind imagining things, or whether I can and am really experiencing pain (could that be more nerve damage? Are there even nerves left in there?). If so, does that mean anything? It is difficult not to fear the worst and to obsess about it, as well as to assess those kinds of things neutrally.
Oh well, one more thing to work on in the future: how to balance fear with vigilance, and enjoy life at the same time. For right now I'll focus on getting over the fatigue and neuropathy.
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