Lucky girl

It looks as though round two of AC chemo really brings less nausea than round one did. I am one lucky girl. There are the occasional twinges in my stomach, but a bit of food and the meds take care of those. The dexamethosone flushes my face a bit and keeps me from sleeping for more than four hours a night, but hopefully the Ativan they prescribed will fix that. I'm fatigued, ov course, but that just means more rest which I can luxuriously afford to do. Got a bit of chemo brain, particularly the first few days after treatment. Still dry eyes and mouth, but nothing unbearable that eye gel and a special mouth wash can't fix. Overall my chemo side effects have been really tolerable. I am so grateful for that!  

Today I was a bit grumpy since I didn't sleep that much (sorry DH, it's the meds speaking...) but tonight I felt good enough to go on a nice long walk with DH and the dog, which really lightened my mood. I need to exercise more -- maybe even start up a light yoga practice again and some modified weight lifting to get the muscles back into shape. They say exercise is always good for me, but particularly now. So that's one of the things I want to work on over the next few weeks. I really want to get back into a better shape as I haven't been allowed to work out much since mid-March when I was first diagnosed and went through all those surgeries.

My hair is coming out in bigger clumps now although the effects still do not seem obvious on my head. My pillow and the cloud of hair I sometimes leave behind while walking tell a different tale, though. So shaving day is very near, I think. The nurse asked me how I felt about losing my hair when I went for my Neulasta shot today. I told her I was fine with it. It's just hair, and it will grow back. Plus, it might be nice not to have all that warm hair during the summer -- I'll have to watch out for sunburn on my bald pate though (which shouldn't be too tough, as I'm not allowed out in the sun in the first place since the chemo makes me photosensitive).

If anyone who is facing chemo right now happens to be reading this blog, let me tell that two things: First, every body is unique and reacts to chemo and the other medications in unique ways. Second, my experience with chemo really hasn't been anywhere near as bad as I initially feared. All the stuff I have described so far on the blog are little nuisances. To me, they do not add up to a serious decline in my quality of life.  It's not going to be a walk in the park, but it's far from the end of the world as you know it. Sure, there will have to be changes. But what really puts those relatively small changes into perspective for me is that the cytotoxins they're pushing into my veins every other week are good little poisons that will kill all remaining cancer cells within my body. This stuff has a good chance of curing me from this dreadful cancer. And for a cure, I'm willing to take much more bad stuff if I have to. So I am very glad I chose the most aggressive chemo route to beating TNBC.

I think I'll have to write an entry on TNBC in the next few days to explain why exactly chemo is so important for TNBC, as quite a few folks I know kept telling me that with the stage of my cancer I really shouldn't need any chemo, or at least not such aggressive treatment. I know that your comments were really an expression of your concern for me and your desire that I be spared this aggressive and potentially toxic treatment. However, I want you to understand why this treatment is so important for me. So more about that in the next few days.