Check

Pre-surgical appointment for mediport implanation done: check. Three nurses who each tried to find a usable vein (supposedly mine are "rubbery" -- I call it "battered, irritated, and scarred"): check. Ouch, OUCH, ouch! Check, check, check. Nurse insisted on running a pregnancy test, although it will not be reliable given that DH injected me with 10,000 international units of HCG, the pregnancy hormone: check (curious to hear what those results will be...). IVF center called to find out whether their bank had cashed our check for the hefty IVF fee (apparently their bank has lost our check!): check.

The whole experience: absolutely PRICELESS!!!

Clearly, complications keep coming my way. But I try to make the best of these situations and try to smile my way through them (or sing "yikes" in the case of the vain needlesticks...) and soldier on. As a reward, my mom and I went fabric shopping afterwards so we can produce some more chemo caps, scarves and headcoverings. I need to prepare for utter and complete baldness (apparently, every single hair on my body is expected to fall out; that includes eyebrows, lashes, as well as other "body hair" if you know what I mean...) and if I want to leave the house without scaring little children, I will need some options for covering my bald pate. I'll also have to learn how to draw a mean fake eyebrow. Will I even learn to glue on fake lashes for big occasions??? The possibilities are endless. 

In any case, we found tons of really nice prints at the fabric store (mostly batiks), and also some nice cotton knit for lining them so my sure-to-be-sensitive scalp will not be too irritated. The sewing pattern we wanted was out at the store, however, so I need to find ones elsewhere or we need to use the free ones we have and improvise. I got some really pretty colors and really love the fabrics we picked. This ought to make it easier to go through the whole hair loss thing. In the meantime I need to go once more pre-chemo and get my hair cut, as my former pixie cut is getting too long to handle! So tomorrow I'll see my dermatologist Dr. A in the morning for a routine checkup (boy will she be surprised to hear what has happened to me since she last saw me...), and in the afternoon I'll head out for the final, final pre-chemo haircut (before the ceremonial shaving once it starts falling out).

It is amazing how all of those doctors visits and appointment-making keeps me busy, though. Apparently being sick is almost like a profession in and of itself!

Anyhow, in a strange way I am almost looking forward to the start of chemo. No, don't worry, I'm not really a masochist! It is just that there is this quote I ran into on the web the other day that struck a chord with me:

"Chemo is not something they do to you, but something they do for you." 

So I am trying to look at this whole chemo thing as an investment into my own future. Could there be any better investment to make??? Surely not. Of course, I fully expect my dose intense ACT chemo to be grueling. But it is going to buy me a much safer grip on a good life.

Thus the sooner I can start chemo, the sooner it will be over -- and the sooner the rest of my new life can begin!!! And that latter part is what I am looking forward to the most. To being in complete remission and staying that way, and getting to that part where my life goes on, and DH and I get to thaw out some of our frosties and have ourselves a miracle baby to ruin our lives in the most perfect way imaginable.