As I was shooting myself up with more hormones tonight, I was thinking about how we got here in the first place. And I was thinking about how none of the doctors really mentioned the possibility of fertility preservation in the first place. Actually, my oncological surgeon did not even think it would be possible to do in vitro for cancer patients.
It is very, very sad, but it seems that few doctors are actually familiar with all the great strides medicine has made for cancer patients in the past few years. This is particularly true for cancers such as TNBC that tends to strike younger women who are may still be interested in having kids, regardless of whether or not they have kids already. Yet when younger women get cancer, they often also receive chemotherapy that may put them into premature menopause. So if the doctors do not tell young women that there are options for preserving fertility, then we lose so much more to the cancer than we really need to!
At least with the internet, we have more information than ever at our fingertips. But of course the internet is also a maze of bad information that is mixed in with the good information. I am lucky in that I am a researcher who is familiar both with the frame of mind of how research is conducted, as well as with statistics. This is why I can read and understand many medical research studies. I also know how to find this stuff, and how to tell which information is reliable and which is probably not. Still, just about everyone can find some stuff out there.
Nonetheless, shouldn't the doctors be the ones who are supposed to know about all of this stuff??? Shouldn't they be the ones telling me about these possibilities rather than me demanding that they give me what I need??? This cancer business is pretty invasive, so the goal should be to minimize the damage. Yet if I hadn't been an educated patient, I may not have had the opportunity to preserve a chance to have a child. I know just how lucky I am to have this opportunity in the first place. But I wonder how many other young women are out there, who are too overwhelmed by their cancer diagnosis to even wonder what it might do to their family plans.
DH and I had been fighting infertility for a long, long time. So we were fortunate to know a lot about infertility issues, and to have already gone through the complete IVF workup before the cancer diagnosis. After all, we were supposed to start our IVF cycle merely three days after I had the surgery for the supposedly benign lump. So adding the fertility preservation IVF cycle means that I am not really losing any time for my cancer treatments, as I need to heal from surgery anyway before they can start me on the chemo. But again, if I had not been prepared, and if I had not pushed, pushed, pushed for the fertility presrvation, I am not so sure that the doctors would have alerted me to this possibility.
So tonight I am extra grateful for the opportunity I have, but I am also upset that it was something I had to fight for when it should have been offered to me. And I am upset that other young women may not be so lucky to know to demand fertility preservation treatment. So let us do what all patients ought to be doing: advocate for ourselves, because we are the ones who will have to live with the effects of both our diseases and our treatments. So we shouldn't be satisfied with anything less than the very best care available!
I would also like to send my love and support towards my friend 2l and her entire family who are currently hurrying towards her father's bedside. He has heart problems and is in the ICU. I hope that the doctors will find a way to help him, and that his family will be able to advocate on his behalf to make sure that he, too, receives the very best care available. You are all in my thoughts!!!
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